Foster carers since 2013
Becca and Paul live in Southampton and have been fostering since 2013. Not long after meeting each other, Becca asked Paul for his thoughts on fostering, as she had spent weekends and holidays with a foster family throughout her teenager years. “From my own experiences, I really appreciated the need for safe, loving homes,” said Becca, as her family struggled with mental health and alcohol issues.
Becca and Paul waited until their two children were old enough to start school before enquiring about fostering with Southampton City Council. “We felt that our two boys had a really strong bond, were close in age and that they always had each other, in good times, and bad. I know no family is perfect which gave me the confidence to pursue fostering as a young mum. The time felt right to take the first step,” said Becca.
The family provide respite and short-term foster care for children mainly aged 0-4 years, although they have looked after children aged 4-10 years for short periods. Becca comments, “It is really important to us that our children feel secure in their own home, so we try to make sure the foster children we welcome are not older than our youngest son.”
Becca enjoys fostering stating, “We have loved looking after the little ones and making them feel a part of our family for however long they need it. We see ourselves as ‘stepping stones’, there to help them build confidence, and their emotional and physical skills, they can take with them into their future.” She adds “The support groups available have also been invaluable; it has been great getting to know other foster carers with similar age children”.
Of course, there’s been challenges along the way. Becca says, “One of my sons summed up fostering perfectly for me when he said, ‘the trickiest part of a placement is the first month, and the last month’. At the beginning it takes time to get to know each other, for example, likes and dislikes and then it can get tough when you are preparing to move the little ones on and say goodbye”.
Becca expressed “When we started fostering, one of our biggest concerns was how our birth children would find it. However, we didn’t need to worry! Our children have been fantastic; we have seen all our foster children connect with them in the most wonderful way. Some of the very young children may not be able to give eye contact to adults, but they do with the boys which is heart-warming to see. Fostering is so rewarding for us as a family!”
*Names have been changed.